Sunday, December 21, 2008

Thank You

Imagine, if you can, 190 blue and yellow balloons being released all at the same time by your closest friends and family. How often have you ever seen that? And how great is it that I can replay it in my mind as often as I like? Thank you.

I have so many thank-yous and although I hesitate to name names, in fear of forgetting someone or hurting feelings, I just really need to do this. So please, forgive me. Just because you may not be mentioned doesn't mean I'm any less thankful for you. At times I'm just so overwhelmed.

Mark - For finding the courage, the strength, and the words that so beautifully rolled off your tongue. I cannot tell you how many people have called to say how inspiring your service was. For understanding our request. For telling us it was OK to be angry at God, and explaining why. For telling me that to be able to love hard you had to be willing to hurt hard. For letting me see that you are also a dad and a grandpa. I know this was not easy for you. The comfort you brought us was indescribable. It's crazy to think that you only walked into our home just under two weeks ago.

Jay - For your tears. You earned your money on this one. I hope you never have to do it again. Never in a million years under these circumstances would I have in trusted anyone with my baby. But with you, I knew he was safe. You promised me you would take care of him, and you did. It was the only reason I could sleep at night.

Syndi from Hospice - We would have never been able to keep Grey at home without you. I couldn't put a price on your knowledge and caring. Your commitment to our family was what you would have given to your own. Once everything was over, I missed you greatly. I will never be able to thank you enough. In just a week and a day, Grey became your baby too.

Karri from Hospice - For taking care of my boys . . . and the phone book.

Aunt Gigi - For your immediate presence and signature.

Dr. T - For taking ownership, even when it would have been easier to let Grey be just another file.

Luke - For choosing to stay when it would it would have been much easier to leave. You've had to grow up fast these past few months. I'm so proud of you.

Bill - For your chest and your heart that Grey so dearly loved. I wouldn't have had it end any other way.

Melinda - For being my rock. For being there when Bill told me, and not losing it so that I could. For spoiling my kids. For always taking pictures. For your great-grandmother's cross because you couldn't always physically be here. For crying late at night when I wasn't around. For being my go between. And for having to draw a diagram so that everything would be perfect. I know it must suck to have a best friend who just lost her baby. But it sucks less for me now that you're around.

Stephanie & Crew (you know who you are even though I don't) - No one should ever have to blow up that many balloons in that little of time. The result was so beautiful, something I will play over and over in my mind.

Misti - Just for being the mess that you are. You make me feel less crazy, and I love you for that. For your passion. For bringing Brayden to Grey's memorial. It made Riley's day.

Mitzi - For telling me that Grey would always be a whisper in my boys' ears, helping them to make better decisions. I'll never forget that.

Ceci - For having such a hard time letting him go that Thursday night, but knowing you had to anyways.

Hillary - For the connection you had with Grey from the very beginning. I don't think I need to say any more.

Dani - For mothering Bill and I through this whole thing. I know how hard this has been for you. You played a bigger part in this than most people will ever know. He was your baby too, from the day we found out we were expecting.

Cindy - For loving Grey's growl, and not being afraid to tell everyone about it. You made me smile on one of my worst days.

Emily - For telling me to love him hard. I did.

Richard - For the bank. For standing in the parking lot and waiting for me when you were asked not to. For being my protective, big brother even though you knew you couldn't fix it. For knowing that there were days that I couldn't look at you because I saw my pain in your face. For knowing that there will be more of those day, and being OK with it.

Darlene - For telling me that I would need to see Grey sick in order to let him go. Never did those words leave my head. You were absolutely right. For the rosaries.

Dana - For taking care of my boys at GFES. I know I never have to worry about them when you're around. For your friendship. A football field does not separate us.

Dad - For the beautiful things that you said at Grey's memorial. I never knew you had that in you. Now I know it was always there. I just never took the time to see it. I love you. For giving Bill the month at home. We would never be able to pay you back for that, even if we were millionaires.

Mom - For spending the last week with us, non-stop. As hard as it was for you to watch, I would have never been able to go through it without you. And for buying Grey Christmas presents just to make me feel better, knowing you'd have to take them back. Just when I think I can't love you any more, I do.

Paul - For reconnecting. I've missed you so much. For throwing yourself into Grey's cause. For knowing that nothing in the whole world would be cooler than a Grey Street sign.

Glenn - For making the trip. For crying when you thought I wasn't looking. For playing on the floor with my boys.

Larissa - For being the one Grey always smiled at and willingly went to. I know how hard it was for you to watch your nephew slip away, but you chose to watch anyways. For finding Oatmeal. For keeping the boys instead of being with us, because you knew that's what I needed most. If I had to have a sister, I would want her to be you.

Kyle - For giving up your deer lease for a weekend. I barely know you. It's been my loss.

My CHMS Family - For the support, the tears, the donations, and the love for my family. You all have taught me how to be a better person. You have given my strength just by being. I love you all.

Jarrett - For treating Grey like he was your Jacob. It was obvious in your PowerPoint. As much as I wanted to take pictures of the balloons, I was frozen in the moment. I knew that you would do it for me.

Penny and Stacy - For pictures that I would have paid a million dollars for. You captured us on our best and worse day, yet the worse was never seen. I will cherish those pictures for as long as I live.

Chelsy - For knowing what my husband likes from Chic-A-Filet. You know it's more than that. I just don't know how to put it into words. I've only known you for a few months. You have jumped into our lives at the worst time and opted not to jump out. Your strength has been a blessing. Thanks for letting me see you cry.

I see Grey's spirit in all of you.


Ken said...

Dear Nicole,
I am truly sorry to hear of your recent loss. I wish that I had known about Greyson some while ago, but only found out about him through finding Misti on the internet. I lost my first grandchild to Krabbe in 2002 when she was just 11 months old. Since then I have tried to help families of newly diagnosed children to come to terms with this damned disease. I guess that I have known the families of over 100 children worldwide since then. Many have become close friends.If you ever feel the need to unload then Misti has my email address.
With love & understanding.
Ken. XX
Angel Evie's Granddad in England.

Texas Mom said...

England.... see that, Grey's influence knows no boundaries. Isn't that amazing! Not many adults can say that have influenced people across the world. Amazing, absolutely amazing.

Your Crazy Friend

min4asl said...

THANK YOU for bringing Albert and I into your family with open arms. I am so glad to be your best friend and would not change a minute of it!! We love you all and look forward to taking lots more pictures :)