It's in the quiet moments that I have the hardest time. As long as I'm busy, and making people feel better, I'm OK.
Grey is comfortable, but quickly progressing. Hospice has been such a blessing! Our nurse came out twice yesterday. It was a bad day. Grey had been so heavily sedated. My husband and I missed his personality so much. We just needed to see one more smile. We started to reduce his doses. Hindsight is 20/20. It took us almost 24 hours to get him comfortable again. He would just sort of hum to himself. We both know he is past the point of realizing what he is doing, but maybe it was to soothe. He has lost his ability to suck, leaving his bottle very lonely.
I am spent. I'm making deals. OK, you can take him, but on my terms. No one seems to be listening.