Tuesday, December 9, 2008

In The Quiet Moments

It's in the quiet moments that I have the hardest time. As long as I'm busy, and making people feel better, I'm OK.

Grey is comfortable, but quickly progressing. Hospice has been such a blessing! Our nurse came out twice yesterday. It was a bad day. Grey had been so heavily sedated. My husband and I missed his personality so much. We just needed to see one more smile. We started to reduce his doses. Hindsight is 20/20. It took us almost 24 hours to get him comfortable again. He would just sort of hum to himself. We both know he is past the point of realizing what he is doing, but maybe it was to soothe. He has lost his ability to suck, leaving his bottle very lonely.

I am spent. I'm making deals. OK, you can take him, but on my terms. No one seems to be listening.

6 comments:

Anita said...

OH Nicole,Iknow God is listening, the prayers for your family must be deafening. Hospice is a wonderful organization.
Praying for all your peace.

Carrie said...

{{{hugs}}}

w/wnbtx said...

Nicole, Thank you so much for the time I got to spend tonight with you and your wonderful family. Your friendship is such a gift and your strength is such an inspiration. I still sit at the computer unable to express all of the emotions that I feel for you, Bill, Grey and the boys. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with all of you and please let me know if I can help in anyway.

Love to all of you,
Kim

Texas Mom said...

Thank you for opening your home to others tonight. It was wonderful to see everyone.

min4asl said...

He is listening to all of our thoughts and prayers. We not only pray for Grey but for you, Bill and the boys. God acts in many different ways and maybe now is surrounding you with the ones who love you to help give you strength and support. We love you and we do need you in so many ways. THANK YOU for everything you do for us and we just hope we can return the favor in some small way. Love U! M,A&J :)

Dmac said...

Our hearts are heavy. Words are few. We walk with you....with the heavy heart of a parent who feels the love your family has for each other ...selfless, pure and tender..together.