Shooting Star

I know it's been quite a while since I have posted. I thought I just really haven't had much to say. But I think the reality of it is, maybe I just don't want to hear what I know in my heart is true.

Grey is gone, really gone. It boggles my mind.

Today when I picked up the mail I received an invitation from Hope Hospice to reveal this year's quilt. Every year they make a quilt from material of loved ones lost. We are invited because Grey's blanket is part of their quilt.

At first I was excited. 'Oh look, we get to see the quilt. They've finally finished the quilt.'

Then I was sad. How I wish we were not members of this exclusive club.

This afternoon I did pay tribute to Grey by adding to the tattoo on my calf. I have a sun intertwined with a moon. Four stars outlined in blue represent the boys. Just a year ago, almost to the day, I added Grey's star to the original three. Just a year ago. Today, I decided to turn Grey's star into a shooting star. A shooting star is the best representation of Grey that I can think of; bright, beautiful, surprising, fascinating, . . . gone to soon.

When I got home, Riley was the first to ask to see it.

"Oh! How come Greyson gets a shooting star? I want a shooting star!"

No Honey you don't. Believe me, you don't.

Grey is gone, really gone.