Friday, January 1, 2010


Below are my resolutions from last year. I lived and breathed them. I read them nearly every morning, keeping a copy hidden in my desk at school. I am proud to say, that as I read over them a year later, I feel that I did a pretty good job honoring them. But I think it's still important for me to keep them on this year's list. Last year's resolutions were promises to Grey. This year's resolutions are promises to myself. You will find them further down in green.

I promise to never darken your spirit with my sorrow.
I promise to make you as proud of me as I am of you.
I promise to focus on the time I had with you, not the time I'll have without you.
I promise to share your story with everyone I know.
I promise to not turn our house into your shrine.
I promise to do things for me, as though you were here and healthy.
I promise to treat your brothers as I treated you.
I promise to allow your loss to make our family stronger instead of breaking us down.
I promise to live each day as though there is no tomorrow.
I promise to remember what is really important.
I promise to see you every time I look into your daddy's eyes and not be sad.
Forever Your Mom

I promise to take better care of myself, starting with my physical health, realizing that Grey never had the choice to be healthy. I do.

I promise to keep things in perspective, that perspective being from a grieving mother, realizing that nothing is as bad as it could be.

I promise to be patient with others who may have a different perspective, those untouched by such an event that shakes your whole world.

I promise to open myself up to love, and be loved, more than I have allowed the last year, in fear of crumbling by it's touch.

I promise to slow down and see the beauty in a quiet moment, like Grey did when he laughed at the breeze blowing through his hair.

I promise to be a better mom, wife, friend, in hopes of letting Grey's spirit shine through me in everything I do, carrying his smile in my eyes.

I promise to support other affected families, living by example.

I promise, through Greyson's law, to continue to protect newborns and their families, from treatable disorders.

I promise to continue to share Grey with everyone, even though I long to take him back as my own, in hopes of continuing to educate others about universal newborn screening.

Dearest Friends & Family,
Happy New Year to all of you. Thank you for the love and support that you have given my family throughout the last year. If I could wish you one thing, I would wish you hope. Hope can open up not only your heart, but your world.
All My Love,

1 comment:

Nuri Leigh Burville said...

This is a beautiful blog you have written and beautiful pictures too. It has touched me deeply regarding my own losses and emotional struggles, although I have not lost an infant. I have had losses of older children. Your words stick in my heart. Thank you for who you are and what you are doing.