Friday, August 28, 2009
All Along For The Ride
As this school year approached, I looked forward to starting a new year. I was excited about how well, that I feel, I have started to heal. I was glad our journey with the legislature had come to a successful end. I was ready to teach again; something, that at the end of last year, I honestly wondered if I would still be able to do.
Looking back to last May, I can freely admit to the complete mess that I was. To those of you that put up with me, thank you for really choosing to make that journey with me. It would have been much easier for you to go down a different path. I can now walk into work with a clear head, without Grey in my every thought and action. I feel like I can once again do my job as well as I did when I was oblivious to Grey's health only a short year ago.
And although I no longer think of Grey every minute of every day, I do still see him in many of you throughout the day. I've seen him in my friend's smile as he looked at Grey's picture. I've seen him in an inquisitive student. I've seen him in a stranger as she put her hand on my tattooed wrist and cried, at that moment realizing that I was Grey's mom. I've seen him in a note from a former student wanting to share her healthy, newborn baby with me. I've seen him every morning in the same friend's eyes as she asks me how I'm doing, in her next breathe always asking about Bill. I've seen him in a heart-felt conversation with another friend who realizes how lucky she is to still have her son. I've seen him in a friendship that I've overlooked and her husband's sincerity.
The cool thing is . . . is that you guys probably don't even know that Grey is using you to let me know that he is still taking care of me. It's like he drew all of you in from the very beginning, with those eyes, that smile, and his spirit, so that you could take care of me after he had gone. How could you not love me because of him?
I am so thankful for all of you. And although I know how much we all miss Grey, I feel lucky that he took us all along for the ride.
I love you guys. I consider you all family, and it's so good to be back home.