One of my constants has been my yearly trips with my bff to see the Dave Matthews Band. I live for them. I figure, I give to my boys 51 weeks of the year. One week I save for me. That one week I spend with my friend and the DMB. Every summer we see them somewhere, at least twice. We've been a lot of places, seen a lot of things, all in the name of our love for the DMB, and each other. But everything changes.
The summer before last we went to Oklahoma City, Houston, then Dallas. Grey was 8 months old. As we were getting ready to go, I became anxious, unsettled. In hind sight, I wonder if deep down I didn't already know that Grey was sick. That leaving him behind was reducing the few hours I would have left with him. I made it through the tour, returning home ready to see my boys (especially Grey, since it was the first time I had ever left him). The next day Bill took him to the doctor, a month early, because we were concerned with his lack of progress, regression would be a better word. That day marked the start of this crazy journey.
Tonight my friend called with wonderful news. She, again, was going to be an aunt. However, the baby will make it's appearance on September 10th, the day DMB plays Dallas. She told me that she had found the one thing that could keep her from seeing the Dave Matthews Band.
The rational part of me understood. Since the birth of her nephew she has blossomed into this amazing person that I could have never imagined her to be even just 3 years ago. How could I expect her to not to be there to meet #2?
The crazy part of me was heartbroken. The one thing I do for me, with her, gone in a flash. I don't even know how to explain it, the importance of that time with her. But things change.
And then I remember, if not for Grey, she would not be who she is today. The love that Grey taught her, the importance of family, the ability to live each day like there's no tomorrow, Grey gave her that, through her nephew. She now has Halloweens, 1st birthdays, and Christmases.
Years ago, I always wished that she would someday realize the importance of fully loving a child, almost to the point of frustration. Now she has that.
So take a deep breath Nicole. Everything changes. And there's always next summer.
Always, my friend. Always.